Hi Agiles! Thank you for all of your support for Chapter 1 “The One With the Ultimate Weapon”, your input is highly appreciated!
A couple of times we have received feedback that the audio is not well understandable. We will take this into account for the next episode and are already working on improving the audio quality.
In the meantime, we have provided the transcript on YouTube, just activate the subtitles for episode 1. Watch it here. As well you can find the complete text below.
[videoconference with PO Skeletor, the Scrumdalorian, 3 Dev Troopers]
the Scrumdalorian
Sir, we are here for the Sprint Review & Planing Meeting,
Sir!
PO Skeletor
Ok, what was the sprint goal?
Really can’t remember.
Trooper 1:
Building the ultimate weapon, which destroys
everything.
PO Skeletor
Good good, sounds like a good goal. Sounds like me.
Ok, did you reach the goal?
the Scrumdalorian
Unfortunately, we didn’t make it, Sir.
Trooper 1 and 2 were on vacation.
Trooper 1:
Roger, roger – sorry, I was not involved
in the last 2 weeks!
Trooper 2:
Yeah, me too. I was only involved last week, Sir
PO Skeletor
Why do I have to care? You said you could reach that goal.
the Scrumdalorian
Sir, we pointed out during the last Planning
that we had a problem here.
Your answer was that you are not interested
in such details and that we should come up with a solution
PO Skeletor
And have you found a solution?
Trooper 3:
Sir, I developed a weapon but it still has
a few problems.
PO Skeletor
What kind of problem? I have enough other problems!
Trooper 3:
I had a couple of problems with old software
that cost me two days, which results from your idea to create a Pensieve based on the Enemy-Relationship-Management-System last year.
You may remember as part of this we had to rebuild a lot,
Unfortunately, that meant that I had to refactor the enemy tracking system to get out the data we need for the weapon. Sir.
Trooper 1:
Sir, we were able to fix that, but that’s why the ERS system is not working at the moment
PO Skeletor
OK. Do we have my weapon or not?
Trooper 2:
I have no idea, I was on vacation
Trooper 33
I was able to install a simulation on my local
system that looks very promising. Sir.
PO Skeletor
Why only a simulation?
Trooper 3:
Well, the weapon would destroy everything, Sir
PO Skeletor
good, good
Trooper 2:
Everything, Sir! everything!
PO Skeletor
Fantastic! Where is the problem?
the Scrumdalorian
Sir, it would kill us, too
PO Skeletor
Are you completely crazy? Why did you come up with such an idea?
It should of course only wipe out our enemies, not us.
the Scrumdalorian
Sir, your wish was to build a weapon that will destroy everything
PO Skeletor
Are you all stupid?
Think a little! Is it that difficult?
the Scrumdalorian
Sir, you always say we shouldn’t think only implement your ideas
PO Skeletor
Yes, but not like that!
the Scrumdalorian
In your own interest, I would ask you to describe the requirements more precisely in the future - Sir.
PO Skeletor
I have clear instructions from the emperor to develop a weapon that destroys everything.
And he is the guy, who will pay.
the Scrumdalorian
Sir, everything or just our enemies?
PO Skeletor
Always this annoying details, I don’t care. Scrum sucks!
Ok, so the sprint goal has not been reached.
Trooper 3:
But Sir, I have the simulation which works
PO Skeletor
But that kills us too, that wasn’t the goal.
Ok let us stop here,
Next time you fail, you will go to the dungeon or I’ll throw you in the Sarlacc,
OK, we stop that here.
In the next 3 weeks you develop a weapon, which kills everything, except us.
Any objections?
No?
Good!
Ok, so the Planning is over.
Don’t disappoint me again
Trooper 2:
One question, Sir: Can you go a little bit
deeper into what you mean with “everything”, Sir?
PO Skeletor
NNNNOOOOOO!!!!
[The Scrumdalorian, alone in her room, without helmet.]
the Scrumdalorian:
Hey Agiles!
It’s me, the Scrumdalorian!
As you have just seen, my job as a Scrum Master is not easy.
You have surely noticed that in this Project many things went wrong.
Many many things!
But in order to break up the operational blindness a little bit, I’m asking you today.
Did you notice, what makes Skeletor a Project Owner like the Devil?
Write it down in the comments and let’s discuss it.
This is the Way!
May #Agile be with you
[end of transcript, watch video on YouToube]
Also already working on Chapter 2 :). Stay tuned!
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